


It Was Always His Job, Sammy

by D890MB279



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Family, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 13:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4788995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D890MB279/pseuds/D890MB279
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Sam found out why Dean was really here? What if it really was his job? What if it's discovered Team Free Will really did have a destiny, but it was based on their own decisions? What if there really was a plan in the fight of good vs. evil and what if it all lead back to...</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Was Always His Job, Sammy

It Was Always His Job, Sammy

_Sometimes I feel like a man in the wilderness_

_I'm a lonely soldier off to war_

_Sent away to die, never quite knowing why_

_Sometimes it makes no sense at all._

\- _Man in the Wilderness –_

\- _Styx –_

Sam sat in Bobby's old Chevy watching the motel room for any signs of life. Any signs of Dean. Sam had followed Dean on his 'Farewell Tour' from Blue Earth, Minnesota to here in Cicero, Indiana. Dean's final stop before… well, before he did the wrong thing by saying yes to Michael.

It didn't take a genius to know where Dean would end up; it just took someone who knew Dean. _Really_ knew Dean.

And Sam knew Dean. He knew the minute Dean had stranded him in Blue Earth, that he was going to say yes, and he knew exactly where Dean would eventually end up after he made that decision.

When Dean had been able to stake the Whore of Babylon, no one had been more surprised than Sam. Cass had said only a true servant of Heaven could do the deed and it had seemed none of them fit the bill, but somehow Dean had done it and he'd been able to kill her. Which could only mean one thing to Sam. _Dean_ was a true servant.

Sam knew Dean had to be in that motel room. He'd been all over this town looking for the Impala and he'd finally found her here at this run of the mill motel. Now all Sam needed to do was go in there and bring Dean home one way or another. Easier said than done, Sam thought. This was Dean after all. Talking Dean into coming with him was not likely to happen once he'd made up his mind, so Sam would have to make him come with him and that was not going to be easy.

When Sam had headed out to hunt Dean down, he'd been angry enough to tear his brother a new one, but the longer he searched for him, the more time Sam had spent thinking about everything that had happened to them. Sam was someone who worked best when he thought things through whether he was just doing research or was actually hunting down whatever evil SOB was their target. Dean was the exact opposite.

Dean was a soldier. He kept telling Sam that, and in a way it was true. He worked best when he did something like cleaning their weapons or re-stocking their arsenal and supplies. Keeping himself busy helped him think of only what needed to be done. He just needed a basic plan to work with and then he went from there. Usually he made things up as he went along. Dean did things on the fly; and somehow they both ended up with the same results.

Sam knew it was because of how they were raised. John had raised them like Marines. To act as soldiers in a war would act. He'd tried to prepare them for anything the only way he knew how. They had learned to think on their feet and fly by the seat of their pants. But for Sam, well Dean had raised Sam more than John had and Dean had shielded Sam more from the strict military upbringing. Dean taught Sam to think more for himself and to understand more about people than just putting them in set categories.

So Sam had learned to read more, enjoy learning more, and to research; to think out every possibility. Dean had learned to follow orders, to do what was expected of him by their father. Dean had learned to be their father's second and follow him wherever he went.

But Dean had taught Sam to be his own man, to do what was right. This sometimes had made their father angry, but for whatever reason, John had never tried to alter what Dean taught Sam.

John had never really given Dean an opportunity to be a kid, but Dean made sure Sam never forgot what it was to be a kid. At least the best he could under the circumstances. Dean had lost everything the day Azazel killed their mother and made their father seek vengeance. And Dean had been the one who had really paid the price for the vendetta their father had.

Because of all of that, Sam understood why Dean had ran. He knew Dean would lay his life down in a heartbeat if it meant he could save even one innocent life. That was just who Dean was. He never saw himself as deserving of being placed ahead of others, especially Sam.

Dean had been doing that all of Sam's life; protecting him and taking any and all hits so that Sam never had to experience what was really out there. Dean knew sooner or later Sam would find out, but he worked his butt off to prolong that for as long as possible.

And Sam knew Dean would die before he'd let anyone else do the same for him. To finally be thinking of saying yes to Michael, well that meant only one thing to Sam. That Dean had reached rock bottom and couldn't see any other way out but to give in.

"He is in the room, Sam." Castiel said from the passenger seat of the Chevy.

Sam jumped in surprise as Cass' sudden appearance. "Man, you have got to stop doing that!" He snapped at the angel.

Castiel looked at Sam confused. "Doing what?"

"Doing that…that Harry Potter popping in unannounced thing."

"Ah yes. Dean has said the same to me. He has suggested that I wear a bell. However I do not understand that concept."

Sam blinked at Cass. Sometimes the angel made Sam want to stop and go _huh?_ "Wearing a bell, Cass means that we would know you were coming before you could scare the crap out of us."

Castiel seemed to think about that for a moment. "So if one wears a bell it would be like ringing a doorbell to announce one's arrival?"

"Yes, exactly like that."

"All right Sam. I shall remember a bell in the future."

Sam couldn't help thinking how absurd this conversation was; to be discussing bells with an angel while Dean was in that room preparing to be Michael's sock puppet. Sam turned back to the motel and saw a shadow pass behind the slightly closed curtained window. Dean was moving around.

Castiel had followed Sam's gaze to see Dean's shadow too. "Sam? Should we not proceed with your plan now?"

Sam sighed. Dean was the one with all the game winning plans. He always knew exactly what they were going to do when they first began a hunt. Sam did all the research and thought through everything they could possibly be facing; then he'd give Dean his opinion, his input and then it was Dean who decided what they were going to actually do. It was Dean who led them through their mission.

Dean never hesitated, never showed indecisiveness; he always acted, he always did _something_. He moved quietly when necessary and he was always one step ahead of Sam. Even when he didn't really know what the hell he was doing, Dean always did something instead of nothing. And because of that, Dean was always the one who got them out of situations when the plan wasn't working. Dean always saved them somehow.

"Yeah." Sam answered roughly as he looked at Castiel. "Let's do this."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 _"_ _Hey Sammy? How ya feeling dude?" Fourteen-year-old Dean asked his little brother. "You still feeling pukey little man?"_

 _"_ _Yeah Dean…this sucks…and it's cold in here." Ten-year-old Sam whined as he lay in his bed looking up at his big brother. "It really sucks havin' the flu Dean."_

_Dean smiled as he reached for the thermometer on the nightstand and put it in Sam's mouth. "I know buddy, but you're strong and you'll feel better soon, I promise. We just gotta get you past this fever thing. Want some soup? I made your favorite, chicken with rice._

_"_ _Campbell's?" Sam asked around the thermometer._

 _"_ _Is there any other kind little bro?" Dean replied as he took the thermometer out and read it. "Your fever's 101.1. That's down from this morning's of 102.5. Looking better Sammy. Just gotta hang in there for me, okay?"_

_Sam nodded as he took the mug of soup Dean handed him. "Dean?"_

_"_ _Yeah?"_

 _"_ _I'm sorry you gotta stay home with me instead of going out on your date with Krissy Biggins."_

 _"_ _Hey, Krissy's not going anywhere and if she does, then let her. Trust me here bro, if she does, then she wasn't meant to be. Besides there are plenty of Krissy Biggins out there just waitin' for the Dean man to make their dreams come true." He said smiling as he watched Sam take a sip of his soup._

 _"_ _Yeah, but I heard you tell Caleb you were really looking forward to your date with her. She's an older woman you said, remember? You called her Krissy with the big-"_

 _"_ _Sammy!" Dean cut him off laughing at the memory. "Don't go around repeating things I say. It could get you in trouble, dude. Besides, no matter what Krissy with the Big Ones has, I am never gonna be too busy to take care of my brother. That's my job, Sammy; and I always do my job. Always."_

 _"_ _Really Dean?" Sam asked happy that Dean wouldn't be dumping him for a girl._

 _"_ _That's right Sammy. I'm always here for you. I'll never leave you alone. I will always be there when you need me." Dean paused as he took Sam's now empty mug. "And you're gonna be just fine in a couple more days, kiddo."_

_Sam smiled up at his big brother because he knew Dean meant what he said. He didn't lie to Sam, ever. It was very important Dean had once told him that Sam know Dean would never lie to him. Dean was the best big brother ever._

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam sat at the desk in Bobby's library going through the books Bobby had scrounged up from somewhere. But his mind kept wondering. He was worried. They'd lost Adam and Castiel had just kicked Dean's ass before bringing him back after his escape.

Right now Dean was unconscious and handcuffed to the cot in the panic room. They didn't need him to fly the coop again. Sam had hid all the paper clips and Dean's lock picks. He'd gone through everything in the room and removed anything he knew Dean could possibly use to escape again. Sam wasn't taking any more chances. He needed to keep Dean on lockdown.

Sam had just been down to check up on him and he remembered watching for a few minutes as Dean slept. The hard years of all the hunts they'd been through had slipped away in a second and what was left was a handsome boyish face with a smattering of fine golden freckles. Sam could see why Dean was so successful with the ladies. They could see the innocence he exuded when he let everything fall away.

But Sam knew that when you looked at Dean, really looked, you could see what their life had done to him. Part of his boyish innocence came from the fact that Dean's eyes were closed.

Dean held his soul in his green eyes. Their mother's eyes, Sam thought. Everything about Dean came out in his eyes; his knowledge, his experience, his inexperience, his humor, pain, anger, worry and most of all, his sadness. Everything came across when Dean laid those eyes on you. If he let you see, that is. Dean hid things and he was a master at it. Hell, he'd been doing it since he was four years old.

It took Sam a lot of pushing to get Dean to say anything, but all he really had to do if he was worried about him, was to look him in the eye. Looking him in the eye let Sam know that something was going through his head.

After they'd gone back to Lawrence to help that family that Sam had the vision about, they'd seen their mother's spirit. That was when Sam realized just how much Dean resembled her. Dean had her looks, but most of all Dean had her eyes. Pictures of her hadn't done her justice. Their mother had been truly beautiful and Sam now understood just how much Dean took after her.

Sam had wondered since that day if the reason Dean had always done what their father asked was because Dean knew he reminded John of Mary. Sam eyes, same hair. Sam knew that if Dean allowed his hair to grow out it became lighter, blonder. John had always cut Dean's hair when that happened saying it was better for hunting if he kept his hair shorter; no fuss that way. But John had never said that to Sam when he let his hair grow longer.

Sam had put a lot of things that John had said and done in regards to Dean's looks in perspective since that time. He figured John would always see Mary in Dean and sometimes that must have been very hard for him. But if bothered Sam more that John didn't realized just how hard it was for Dean.

Sam had been remembering a time in his childhood when he'd been sick and Dean had missed a date to stay home and take care of him. Dean had done that a lot when Sam was growing up. Den said it was his job. It was always his job and Dean took his job seriously.

He also remembered that Dean had never really lied to him; not once in Sam's 27 years had Dean ever outright lied to him. He may stretch the truth, hide things such as the promise he'd made their father about Sam, but Dean never outright lied to Sam. He'd keep secrets if it protected Sam, but eventually Dean would give in and tell Sam. Dean had never kept something from Sam simply because he wanted to. If he did it was always to protect Sam. Unlike Sam.

Sam swallowed hard. He'd lied to Dean though; mostly about Ruby and the demon blood, but there had been other things. He'd started back when he was going to school. He'd lied to Dean by not telling him until he actually had to that he'd been accepted to Stanford and he was getting out of this life.

Dean had always been there for Sam and Sam had paid him back by picking a demon over his own brother and now they were in the middle of the apocalypse because of the choices Sam had made.

Sam remembered Dean's hurt when they'd talked back in Chicago at the hospital when Bobby had been paralyzed. The look on Dean's face; the hurt he could see in Dean's eyes. That had cut Sam deep. Because more than the guilt of lying to Dean about Ruby, about abandoning him for her, about freeing Lucifer and then realizing that Ruby had lied was the fact that Dean had been right all along. Despite all of that, what had cut Sam the deepest was the look on Dean's face. His words of how could he trust Sam now after what Sam had done. Nothing…nothing in Sam's life hurt as much as seeing that look on Dean's face and knowing he had been responsible for putting it there.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sam slowly opened his eyes to focus on a completely white room. He was disoriented; what the hell? The last thing he remembered was sitting at Bobby's desk after Castiel had brought Dean back from his escape. He lost track of Adam, but they had Dean on lockdown in the panic room. Sam must have fallen asleep after settling Dean in, so how did he get here in this room. Was he dreaming?

He blinked a couple of times and raised his head to take in the white walls of the now empty room. He was no longer sitting at a desk, it was gone. As Sam looked around the room, the walls suddenly changed from white to a soft sky blue. Then as Sam turned in a slow circle objects began to appear around the room; a crib with a mobile slowly turning, a rocker and a small dresser in one corner with a changing table and a small bookcase in another. When he spotted the airplane clock his eyes widened in recognition.

This was the room the yellow-eyed demon had shown him in his mind at Cold Oak. This was a nursery, Sam's nursery. Before the fire. Before his mother had died and his family had become broken.

"Yes, Sam this is your room." A soft feminine voice said from the doorway to the room.

Sam spun around to face the woman and was shocked at the sight of her in the flowing nightgown with her long blonde hair and the same green eyes as Dean's. This was his mother.

"Mom?" He was barely able to get the word past the lump in his throat.

Mary Winchester walked up to Sam and reached out to place a hand against his cheek. "Sam." She smiled as she softly said his name. She sounded just like she had back in Lawrence when she'd sacrificed herself to the vengeful fire spirit that had taken over their home. She sounded like love, and home and everything that was good.

"Mom? Are you real? Am I dead?" He asked leaning into her touch.

"Yes baby, I'm real. At least here in your dreams. Just like Castiel appears to you and Dean at times." She said soothingly, comforting him. "I'm very real right now, I promise."

Her touch, God Sam thought her touch was so good. He wrapped a large hand over hers to keep her touch close. Her touch felt so good, he felt so safe here in her presence. Mary smiled up at her son as she saw how much he craved her touch. She reluctantly pulled her hand away and walked over to the crib in the middle of the room.

Sam instantly missed her touch as soon as she moved away from him. She reached down into the crib and picked up something. When she turned to face him, Sam could see she was holding a green baby blanket in her hands and he could see in one corner of the blanket were the embroidered initials 'S.W.'

"This was yours." She said holding the blanket up to her cheek, then holding it out to Sam. "Dean picked it out at a craft fair we were at just a couple days before you were born and the lady stitched the initials for free. You were going to be either Samuel or Samantha." She paused as Sam took the blanket from her. "Dean made sure your father brought it to the hospital when they came to take us home. He made sure you were wrapped in it before we left." She smiled, remembering. "He was four and the nurse told him he was such a little man with all the worrying he did about getting you home safe and in one piece."

Sam relished this information. It gave him something else he didn't know about Dean. "Is this about Dean, Mom? Is he okay?" Sam suddenly had a sinking feeling that this dream involved Sam learning something bad was about to happen to his brother.

"Dean's fine…for now. But Sam, that could change." She replied cryptically. "Dean has a lot of things going through his head and his heart right now. He's very confused and he's not sure what to do."

Mary walked over to the bookcase and picked up a smal photo in a sailboat frame and held it out to Sam. "This is you with Dean the evening we came home from the hospital." The picture showed a four-year-old Dean holding a tiny baby Sam wrapped in the blanket. And he was holding on so tightly. It was similar to a picture Dean had gotten from the family that now lived in their old home. She'd given them a box full of old photos, and Sam remembered Dean putting this one in his wallet.

"Mom-" Sam began.

Mary placed the photo in Sam's hands. "Sam, I need you to listen to me…I have to tell you some things about Dean about before you were born…important things." She held onto his hands wrapping them around the picture. "And I don't have much time here Sam."

Sam stared down at his mother. She was so beautiful; and he'd never actually seen her clearly in any kind of memories of his own. He only had the memories of Dean telling him about their mother; of what he could remember about her. They had a few scattered pictures, but none really captured her has she appeared right now.

Sam once had a photo of her and his dad back at Stanford in his and Jess' apartment, but it had been lost in the fire. He had no real memories of the woman of his own. Until now. He had only right now.

"When I found out I was pregnant with Dean, your father and I'd been married for a while by then and we were beginning to think we might not ever be blessed with children. Your father and I married not long after I lost both of my parents and we hadn't really been seriously trying for the first few years because money was tight and we were just trying to live, but then one day I just knew I was pregnant and I knew we were going to have a boy because the angels told me so.

"I'd always believed in angels like everyone does, you know from Sunday school or from those cute little greeting cards. Angels were not supposed to be creatures to fear. Angels were supposed to be good. They were supposed to be proof from God that mankind was something good. As a Hunter I had never came across a real angel, but that was before one came to me." Mary paused to sit down in the rocker and she beckoned Sam to come sit on the floor by her as she would beckon a small child. "Her name was Sarah and she told me I would have two boys and that they were to be very special. A biblical kind of special."

"I don't understand." Sam said from the floor as he looked up at his mother. "What do you mean 'biblical'?"

"I could only assume she meant that you and your brother would have Heavenly destinies. I think your whole lives have all lead to where you are now. Sarah said that my two boys would one day sit alongside God in Heaven, but that first they had work to do. Things that only the two of them could do; for God and for mankind."

"What things?"

"First you would have to fight evil. Evil here on earth, and during that time you would also have trials to complete, tests to pass, both good and bad. You had to stay the course no matter what was thrown your way. Your endurance would be tested and there would be the possibility that one or the other of you could fall by the wayside if you did not stand together in your battles." Mary reached out and took Sam's hand in hers. "You've already faced several tests. Azazel, Ruby, Lilith and now Lucifer. You have almost lost Dean to arguments, death, to the demons you've faced and Dean has almost lost you to the same. But throughout it all, Dean has always fought to never lose you." She stroked Sam's long fingers in her hands. "But Sam, you have fallen twice now, once because of your anger with your father and your misguided trust with Ruby. You are not to blame in these situations and you need to know that you have been confused most of your life. The way your father raised you boys and the things you had to find out with no real guidance.

"Dean was my guidance." Sam said immediately. "Dean taught me everything I know about this life and life in general. It's always been Dean."

"Yes, exactly. But you have to remember that while Dean was teaching you about life, he was still trying to figure things out himself. He was so young and he didn't know what was happening really any more than you did. He just wanted to keep his family together. Family has always been very important to Dean."

"I know."

"I need you to understand that your confusion, Dean having to raise you two himself; that's all my fault." She sighed as she tried to find the right words to say to her youngest. "I made the deal with Azazel to allow him into my home in return for your father's life. I didn't know what he was going to do. Not until I saw him that night in the nursery. But just because I didn't know doesn't make it any less my fault. I just need you to understand that nothing that has happened to you boys is either of yours fault. I'm the one who failed you."

Sam chuckled lightly as he let his mother continue her stroking of his hand. "You sound like Dean. Now I know where he gets his guilt from. He's always blaming himself for everything that has ever gone wrong."

Mary chuckled with him at that. "Yes, I've noticed that. But you have to try and get him to understand he isn't to blame. I'm the one who failed to watch over you and John failed to teach you about more than just the supernatural side of life. As parents we both failed you boys and the things that have happened to you both have been beyond your control. But you have to remember that even if we failed you, Dean never did. He has never left you behind. He has always tried to protect you." She watched as Sam listened to her words. "Even when he made that deal to die so you could live, he was doing what he thought was right. He needed to know you were safe."

"He made the deal because he couldn't lose me." Sam wasn't being accusatory. It was just the truth, Dean couldn't lose Sam.

"Yes. That's true. Dean did it because he could not live without you, but you need to know why he did it. I know you understand basically, but you don't really know. It wasn't about being selfish, Sam. Dean truly cannot live if you die. Sarah told me that if you died before your time, that Dean would not survive. If you die, Dean will follow. For you it is different, you can physically live without Dean, but not mentally. You two are too entwined in each other to survive without the other. In order for you both to survive, you must work together. You must protect each other."

"I don't think I really understand. What do you mean entwined?" He wasn't sure what she was getting at.

"I know you don't, but you boys were chosen. Chosen by God to do His work and you and your brother are the only hope mankind really has right now. The world around you does not know about the apocalypse, but it's still there. And only you and Dean can stop it."

"But how? We can't just allow ourselves to become Lucifer and Michael's vessels. That isn't gonna end well for mankind and we can't keep avoiding them." Sam questioned.

"No you cannot allow Lucifer and Michael or any of the other angels to affect your decisions. Whatever the angels think is not what God thinks. I know you haven't been able to see Him, but that's because the angels are blocking your way." Mary paused as she thought about how to speak of this. "Sam, God is not gone. God is here, he is always here." She reached out and touched Sam lightly against his chest just over his heart. "God has not left you."

Sam looked down at her hand and moved to hold her hand over his heart as he breathed in and just reveled in her touch. "But we haven't been able to see him; talk to him." He looked up at her; into her deep green Dean eyes.

"He isn't someone you can just schedule a meeting with. He is very busy, but he knows what's happening and He is trying to handle what has happened in Heaven as well as trying to keep His creations on Earth alive. He has put all of His hope for mankind in you boys and He is trusting you to know what to do. That's why He has sent me to talk with you.

"I'm here to make sure you understand some things. You need to know that God couldn't stop Azazel's coming because of my deal and all the deals that he made with other mothers, but He has tried His best to guide all of the children Azazel has tried to take. He has also tried to watch over you two the best He could. He watched over Dean in Hell. Sarah said that God knew Dean was a righteous man and the righteous man shall always do the right thing in the end."

Sam listened as Mary sucked in a shaky breath before she spoke again. He moved closer to hold onto her. She smiled at him as she felt him seeking her comfort.

"I know that Castiel told Dean that he was the one who broke the first seal by torturing souls in Hell, as a righteous man, but Sam you need to understand and you need to make Dean understand that he didn't truly break the first seal."

"What?"

"Dean did not break the first seal. Castiel was lied to. Dean needs to know the truth so he can stop blaming himself. I know it will be hard, but you have to try and help him. He did not break the first seal."

"I don't understand? If Dean didn't break the first seal, who did?"

"I did Sam. I broke the first seal." She said sadly.

"How?" Sam was shocked at the thought that his mother could have done something to start these events. "How could you know you were the first seal if Azazel did this to other mothers and their future children?"

"When I made my deal with Azazel, I broke the actual first seal because I was the first Hunter to make the deal. And I made it for a selfish reason. For John's life. Dean may have broken a seal in Hell, but I broke first one." She paused here again as she thought about how to explain things. "Azazel knew you were God's choice in the war of good versus evil and he knew that one or both of you would defeat the Devil someday, so he needed access to one of you to put Lucifer's plan into action. He told you he did this to may children, and he did, but you were always the one Lucifer was betting on. It was written long ago that if he could turn you that Lucifer could be released from his cage and come back to earth and you would be his true vessel."She turned to look away as she remembered. "But the one thing they didn't count on was that while God may not be able to stop their plans, but he could throw a monkey wrench in them."

"Huh?" Sam said. "What did He do?"

"After I broke the first seal, God knew he would have to alter his plans a little bit. Because I had just given Azazel access to you, God knew you would need a protector."

"So he altered his plans? How?"

"I was destined to give birth to you Sam, but not for four more years, so God sent Sarah to tell me that I was going to have Dean first. The angel said God was sending Dean to be your protector. God gave you Dean." She explained as a single tear rolled down her cheek. "Dean is more than just your brother Sam. He has always been meant to be your protector. Always.

"Dean has known somewhere in his heart that his job has always been to protect you and that anything for himself would always come second to whatever you wanted, whatever you needed. Dean has never known a childhood, because he was never destined to have one. Dean's one and only job has always been to protect you."

"That's why he can't live without me. If I'm gone he would have failed at his job and he can't have that." Sam realized. God had given him Dean because He knew what was going to happen. So much made sense now. "I can't let Dean go through this alone. I have to let Dean know."

Mary smiled as she saw that Sam understood. "Yes. From the day Dean could talk, he told me about the angels he could speak with. He always said he'd have a baby brother and that it would be his job to protect him. When he found out I was pregnant with you, he knew his job was about to begin. And he was so excited." She ran her hand over Sam's head as he sat next to her. "But there's something else you need to know."

Sam raised his head from her knee to look up at her. "What mom?" Sam asked sensing something in her manner.

"You were not alone that night in your nursery. Dean was there with you; in your crib with you." She paused as Sam looked at her. "I saw him in your nursery that night when Azazel was standing over you. You see, I thought Azazel was John at first and that he had maybe let Dean sleep with you. Dean had done that a few times before. But when I realized that he wasn't John, I rushed back to your room.

That's when I realized that Azazel had tried to kill Dean, but he'd failed. There was another force in your room, not demonic. There was a force there protecting Dean who was using it to protect you. When I looked at you in your crib, Azazel had been able to bleed into your mouth, but he wasn't able to touch you. I could see Azazel was frustrated that he couldn't get to you and he couldn't kill Dean. All I can remember is that Dean had been there to protect you and he had. He may not have been able to stop the bleeding, but he didn't allow Azazel to do anything else.

With most of the other children, he would touch them to give them more demonic feelings as they grew up. Most of them grew up with bad things in their lives. Like Max."

"So Dean has always been there for me." He was amazed that he hadn't known any of this. "But why doesn't Dean remember any of this? About being chosen by the angels?"

"I don't know for sure, but I think it has to do with John raising you boys in the strictest military way possible. And I think as he grew up, he lost his memories of Heaven and God. Like most children do as they grow up. Children see a lot of things because their minds allow the possibility of those things to exist, but as we grow up we tend to lose sight of the possibility of what's really out there. We close off our minds."

Mary watched as Sam took in everything she'd told him. She smiled as she realized that Sam was beginning to understand his destiny as well as his brother's.

"John never saw Dean in the nursery, so he wasn't able to remind Dean of that as he grew up. Dean remembers being there and seeing what happened to me, but he doesn't remember what happened to you. He has never told you, but in reality he saw everything that happened in that nursery. He was the only one besides Azazel who knows exactly what happened to you.

Dean protected you that night just like he has every night since then. You need to know that there are good angels in this world, Sam. You can trust Castiel; he is good, and there are more like him. What you've seen is not what really exists in Heaven. Zachariah has misled you and Dean."

"So does this mean we're right in fighting Lucifer and Michael's insistence to be their vessels?" Sam asked as he began to worry about the bigger picture here.

"All I can tell you Sam is to trust Dean and to trust your heart. Dean will never lead you wrong. He may not always know if what he's doing is the right thing or not, but he leads with his heart and he tries desperately to do the right thing. You will have to face many challenges in your life before it is through, but if you believe in Dean, you will survive. Your trust in Dean will be tested in the years to come, but you need to know that he will never leave you. Let him protect you, Sam. Help him in his choices, but let him protect you. And trust that anything you see or hear from Zachariah is not the truth no matter who backs him."

"But what about Michael? I can't let Dean say yes like he wants to. I can't."

"No you can't. All I really know Sam is that Michael isn't like Zachariah. Michael is doing what he thinks is his destiny, but Zachariah has his own agenda. Michael may or may not know what that is either. All I really know for sure Sam is that you have to stand by Dean and trust him."

Sam smiled up at his mother. "But what if we have questions, what if we can't see what the other one is saying?"

"Then you must stop using your head to fight each other. Listen to your heart and you will know what's wrong and what's not. And just let Dean protect you. It's his job Sammy. It has always been his job."

Sam laid his head back down on his mother's knee as he listened to her words. She made sense, but how could he know for sure what the right thing was to do? Sam raised his head to ask his mother once more what he should do, but what he saw was that he was back at Bobby's desk. He looked around. "Mom?" He whispered into the darkened room. "Mom where are you? What can I do?"

_Listen to Dean Sammy…listen to your heart. Listen to your brother…and remember that you will always do the right thing even if it doesn't feel right at first…remember that your brother will do the right thing…Let Dean protect you…it's his job…always Sammy always…_

Sam listened to the words floating around in his head. Yes, he needed to listen to Dean and he knew now what he would have to do. He didn't know how to explain it right now, but he knew he could talk it over with Dean. They needed to get to Adam, and Sam knew he needed Dean by his side. He needed his protector. He would listen to Dean… after all it was _his_ job.

The End


End file.
